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Ask Dr Sivri – My life is a drunken mess

Dear Dr Sivri,

I am really embarrassed about my problem. Actually, it’s more to do with my lifestyle really. I feel so ashamed, I don’t know where to start.

I am a 39-year-old woman who has been married and divorced twice.

I married very young the first time around – I was 18 years old. We had two girls, but the marriage only lasted about five years. It was a terrible marriage really. We were too young. We argued all the time and he often got violent with me.

My second marriage was when I was 30. That too was a terrible marriage and he too was often abusive and violent towards me. That marriage only lasted three years.

My main problem is this: I moved back in with my parents between marriages, in fact they were the ones who brought up my kids. I was always out and about and I still am.

I drink a lot, I go on lots of dates with men, and occasionally, I take drugs. Especially cocaine, I am ashamed to say. I often find myself in very compromising situations with men.

When I drink or take coke, I usually end up getting together with a man, and I am ashamed of my actions and want to stop living like this.

I actually have my own business, so to my clients, friends and family, I am a respectable woman, but deep down I feel worthless and cheap.

Growing up I was always arguing with my father and I still do in fact. He is very strict, and I keep everything hidden from him.

I have one younger sister, and it’s like she is the ‘Golden Child’ because whatever she does is never wrong.

Please help me as I don’t know what I can do.

Kindest regards,

B.